Rejection is an inevitable part of life. However, it’s something that, for me, has caused great fearing distress. It’s certainly difficult to deal with, but I want to learn how to cope with it better because I’m not really gonna make it through life without experiencing rejection!
The first thing to bear in mind is that most of the time it’s not personal. in fact, I’d say this is the most important thing to remember. For me, at least, the biggest problems I’ve had with rejection in the past is that I took it as if they were somehow insulting me and then would let it upset me and bring me down. BUT (in most cases, especially when applying for a job) they didn’t know me. They only saw the few lines of writing on my CV, or the my hastily-stammered responses to their interview questions. Basically, in any case they only saw a small part of me, and these aren’t even the most important parts of my character. You’re not being rejected because they hate you, or you’re not talented, or you’re not good enough. I think I still need to work on not taking these things personally, but at least having this realisation has been helpful!
Ok, while I did say most of the time rejection isn’t personal, just occasionally it might be. However, it still doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough! In this case, it’s important to bear in mind that the person is really exposing their flaws which says a hell of not about them and little about you. Most likely it’s because they’re either insecure or immature (or both!) but don’t know how to handle this properly or how to work on improving this. Therefore, they choose to make someone else feel small in order to make themselves feel bigger and better. It’s a crappy solution for fixing their flaw, and I’m willing to bet it does buggar all too. As difficult as it can sometimes feel, you should never think less of yourself because of someone’s poor treatment of you.
Often you can learn from your rejection. I wrote this a while back when making notes for this post so I can’t actually remember how I intended to elaborate in this. Having said that, I do think there is something you can take away from a rejection, whether it’s just learning that you need more experience in a particular area or even learning how to love yourself.
Most importantly, you could miss some awesome opportunities if you don’t put yourself in a position where you can be rejected! Sure, you might face rejection and there’s no denying that, even if you’re a pro at coping with it rejection does still kinda suck. But think about the experiences you could have if you were successful. However, you’ll never get to that position if you don’t even put yourself forward in the first place. That’s another thing I have to keep reminding myself, though I’m finding that the more I remind myself of this the more confident I become in putting myself out there. After all, many successful people received numerous rejections before achieving their success!
I hope there’s something in here that’s vaguely useful. I can’t say I’ve entirely put these to use, it’s more like I had a realisation and wanted to whack it in a blog post before I forgot, so this could be a load of poo for all I know. I just wanted to have something to refer to in order to help myself cope with rejection because, as I mentioned at the start of this post, I’m useless at dealing with it. How do you cope with rejection? Is there anything I’ve missed out that you’d like to share?